contemplation rather comes in the books that one like oneself has already published in the past.. I got to tell grock that i’m a ficken confusian and do you know how embarassing that is? this thing is like circling a dead carcase and i’m sticking and appologizing for not being as dead as i should be or something

All this to point out that the 70% occultist and magician and guru and metaphisician should seemingly be where the ‘truth’ comes from. but alas we have not only the battle betwixt the established and the apparent, but also enforced verses self discovered.

I have a tik tok uploading and I need to type something out that i can paste on the video for the robot to read. I thought about starting with Once upon a time or starting with Follow into the cellar door”” then going off on some tangent that the story creates. but then the tangent is always “so and so read in the New York Times” 

.. never do i really think of which letter i am typing on the keyboard but sometimes i can feel the mistakes.. i know when a keystroke is out of place but i dont know how many keystrokes nor their order. i do know when the order is wrong.

this process of typing is some magic shit if i ever seen it..

I may always feel like i was smarter in the past.. but also i feel like i know more in the present.. smarter and knowing more are not as related as i'd first think them to be.. i was way smartter when i didn't know what the fuck was going on..

one of the main things about being in the heart chakra rather than the lower three chakras is the accepting of humainty and becoming the christ..   the christ is just at the level to manipulate the physical world big time but still be conscerned with humanity

really i just want to type some shit that i can put out in the front page so that people won't want to read this one..

humanity presents the opportunity to pick good or evil over and over and over and over and over and over and most humans play the game..   i pick good i pick evil i pick good i pick good i pick good i pick evil i pick evil i pick good and so on 

the trick with the first level of the game is that you don't need to play..  both good and evil are the wrong answer...  

someho get the audiance lost before they can get the chance to be found is the pattern here 

this is dumb   i wanted to come type here because i felt like the time that i havent been typing is some type of secret crime that im doing  because im not documenting time and it feels weird to think that maybe i couldn't come here and type something compelling or smart